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Neurodiversity Awareness/Appreciation

Neurodiversity Awareness/Appreciation

Sunday, May 22, 2016

Face Plant

Tizzy sometimes likes to point out to me that I have what he calls a "terrible life." He points this out whenever I come into some sort of mishap. He likes to list the things that have happened to me, such as the time when I was running across the playground to help a substitute bring in two AWOL kids (one of whom was Sandy) and I slipped in mud and was covered from head to toe. Or the time that Tizzy's best friend Bizzy threw a gym ball and hit me in the back of the head. Or the other time that Bizzy threw a basketball and hit me square in the face. (Neither time was on purpose... Bizzy just doesn't pay much attention to what he's doing. I've learned to stay away from him when he's playing with balls.)

I wonder what Tizzy will say when he finds out what happened to me this weekend?

It all started when I went to let the three dogs out into the back yard... my Lily, plus Roo, plus my little fuzzy buddy Roka whom I'm babysitting. I let them all out into the yard and I went with them, because I'm always paranoid about a coyote suddenly materializing in the yard to capture Lily or Roka. (Roo, who is a dingo, would probably be safe.) We went out the garage door, but the dogs collectively decided they wanted to go back in through the back porch door. Unfortunately, it was locked. So I started to run around the side of the house, so either some or all of the dogs would follow me back to the garage door, or I could go through the house and let them in through the back porch door.

But I am sort of like Bizzy, because I don't always pay much attention to what I am doing. So I didn't see the tomato hoop that was lying on the ground. I also didn't see the two concrete rectangle slabs that were inexplicably on the ground in front of me. So can you imagine what happened?

If you guessed, "Angel tripped on the tomato hoop, went flying into the air, skidded across the gravel and bashed her chin on the edge of the concrete slab," then you are correct!

It hurt, man. If you want to imagine how bad it hurt, go outside and bang your face against some concrete as hard as you can. Go ahead. I'll wait.

Back already? You chickened out! Don't lie to me!

For a minute I just lay there going, "Thhhhh.... aaaaaah! Thhhhhhhh... aaaaaaaah!" *

Then I realized my chin was bleeding. I tried opening and closing my mouth a few times and was glad to see that my skull seemed to still be in order, so I got up and hobbled the rest of the way to the garage door.

My aunt was busy opening the back porch door because she'd come along and noticed that all of the dogs were still standing there peering in through the window. I was like, "I fell down," and then they looked over and saw that I was bleeding, and then I just wanted to lie down on the couch and take a nap. I actually started crying, not sure why... I just suddenly felt really sad about having fallen on my face. Maybe my brain really did get knocked loose or something.

For the next several hours I felt really out of it... I just kept feeling like crying, and when I recovered from feeling so sad, I mostly just felt all fuzzy-headed and pukey, like I just wanted to lie down and take a nap. Which I eventually did, after I got back from where I was supposed to be going right after letting the dogs out, which was to Starbucks to meet my new potential roommates. But more about that later.

Anyways, to make a long story somewhat shorter, I've been left with a huge, pussy scab (now that I look at that phrase it doesn't look quite like how it sounds in my head. Pusy? Pussey?  Having pus? Either way, it is gross) a sore jaw, an earache (even though my ear didn't hit the ground at all), road burn on my palms, knees and chest, and an uncle who keeps trying to peer into my eyes to see if my pupils are dilated. I am going to miss work tomorrow and probably go to the doctor. I feel nervous about missing work but probably am in no shape to go. Judge for yourself... this is what I look like right now. This picture is so flattering. But at least I am smiling through it!





* Family Guy reference! 





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