Neurodiversity Awareness/Appreciation

Neurodiversity Awareness/Appreciation

Monday, November 30, 2015

End Of November

Here is the good news: I made it through NaBloPoMo with flying colors! I posted at least every single day, even on the days I was traveling and on Thanksgiving! It was easy and I think I could even keep it up permanently! Or at least ealternating days. Maybe I could blog on Sundays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays, and leave Mondays and Wednesdays for reading other blogs and taking care of blogging business. The weekends are easy because I do Saturday 9 and Sunday Stealing. 

Here is the bad news. Tomorrow I am going back to Washington. I am already feeling so sad about it. Yet, strangely, as soon as I opened this up and started typing, I felt a little better! But now I started feeling worse. My brain is a tornado. I want to stay with my Mom. I wish someone would glue my feet to the ground so I could never go anywhere again except home. The ten days went too fast! And now I am crying because I don't want to go. I miss Auntie Em and Uncle J and Roo and my fish and Phyllis and the woods. But when I go there I will miss my mom and my dad and Trixie  and my home. 

I am going to see my mom and dad again in less than 3 weeks. I am going to see them for Christmas. If they come out to California, then I will only get to see them for a few days. But if they stay in Chicago and I come back here, I will get to stay with them for two weeks! Also if we go to Bro's house in California for Christmas I am not sure I want to bring Lily, because one of my brother's dogs supposedly killed a buffalo recently, and I don't want him to kill Lily. I actually love my brother's dog, and I would want to hug him and play with him and be around him without having to worry about whether he thinks Lily is potential food for him. I don't know if OP really killed a buffalo. Who even owns a buffalo? The people said they were raising the buffalo for meat. Who keeps a buffalo in their yard and raises it for meat? Who eats buffalo meat? The whole thing is a little WTF. But I still don't want to put Lily at risk. So I would only see my parents for a few days, and I would have to spend Christmas without Lily. 

My mom also wants me to come to Chicago in February so I can help her after she gets out of the hospital. I have to help her remember to take her medicine and eat food and drink water. If I have a job I can take Family Medical Leave. If I am still subbing I can just go, and come back when I am ready. Then I could also come back for spring break, and I could come back for part of the summer. It should be motivating me to work more. The more I work, the more I save up, the more I can see my mom. My goal will be to make enough to save up for a place to live AND see my mom! 

It is sort of ironic that, when I don't live here, my mom and I get along so much better when I am here. We are happy and cheerful and don't argue and my mom is calm with me. Not yelling at me for every small thing. But if I lived here then she'd probably be mad at me all the time again. It is like being stuck between a rock and a stabby knife.

It is almost like I will be starting to split my time between Washington and Chicago, So I should feel cheerful  because I really will be getting the best of both worlds, and the closest possibility to my ideal world, which would be to be able to see everyone. I won't be able to see everyone at the same time, but at least it will be somewhat equal! 

But I am still sad. I don't want to say goodbye to my mom tomorrow. I want to hide under the bed. I want Auntie Em and Uncle J and Roo and my fish to come here instead.


  1. awww.....I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I do think people get along better when they're not on top of each other every day though!
    And I would keep Lily away from the other dog. He sounds very territorial!

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  3. Do you go for the rock or the hard place? Or maybe there is a way to avoid both...or tackle both at once....

  4. I know how you feel! I always want to be near all of my family, even if they drive me bonkers! Hopefully you will be able to split your time nicely and get everything you want :)


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