Neurodiversity Awareness/Appreciation

Neurodiversity Awareness/Appreciation

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Dangerous Cookies

Hi everyone! I know you haven't heard from me in a while. Sometimes I disappear for long amounts of time. This time, the reason was more boredom than depression or anything else. My life is sort of at a flat-line right now. It is hard to motivate yourself to write in your blog, when all you have to say is, "Today I watched four episodes of 'Breaking Bad' with my parents on Netflix."

Speaking of "Breaking Bad"... if you've never heard of it, it is a show about a very intelligent and talented chemist who, for some reason, has also been sort of flat-lining in life. While he was once involved in some sort of complicated and important chemistry business, he ended up teaching high school chemistry to a bunch of listless kids who are barely paying attention. He finds out he has lung cancer and that he is probably going to die. With a wife who is pregnant and a son who has cerebral palsy, the guy realizes that when he dies he is not going to be leaving them much to live on. So he decides to partner up with a former student of his, whose talent in life happens to be making crystal meth. As a chemist, Walt (the chemistry teacher) believes he can create the most  perfect meth imaginable, and make enough money to allow his wife and children to live comfortably after he is dead. And they actually do it. I have no idea how one judges the quality of crystal meth. To me, the whole idea seems similar to chugging down a glass full of bleach each day. But apparently, this meth they make is exquisite. If you've ever known anyone with a drug addiction, you know that the drug becomes their life, and they will do anything to get it, paying every dollar they have or can get, which makes the selling of drugs a lucrative business.

The ironic thing about watching this show is that the show, itself, is very addicting! The way each episode ends makes you desperate to see more! When it was on live TV, people had to wait a whole week to see more. But now that we have Netflix, we can devour episode after episode, in one sitting!

I wouldn't make a good drug addict. But you know what I am addicted to? These cookies I invented! They are about as addicting as crystal meth. They are the meth of the non-meth-using world. They are moist, and chewy, and friggin' awesome! And I am about to share my secret recipe with you. Because, really, I have nothing entertaining to share with you right now, so the least I can do is give you a great cookie recipe.

Are you ready?

First, heat the oven to 375 degrees.

You will need two bowls. One of them should be a large mixing bowl. The other can be smaller, like a cereal bowl.

In the first bowl, you will put the dry ingredients:
1 3/4 cups flour (but I actually put in just a little bit less flour than that)
1/2 cup white sugar
1 1/4 cups packed brown sugar
2 1/2 cups dry oatmeal (it can be the "quick" kind or the "old fashioned" kind)
1 tsp baking soda
A few shakes of table salt
A few shakes of cinnamon
1 12-ounce bag of chocolate chips (I use the dark chocolate kind, but the regular kind would work well too)
Half of a 14-ounce bag of coconut flakes.

Stir all of this up well. I like to use a wooden spoon.

In the smaller bowl, microwave 2 sticks of butter until it is completely melted. Add the following:
2 eggs
2 Tbsp milk
3 tsp vanilla (or extract)

Stir that up well, and then pour it into the larger bowl of dry ingredients and stir it all up until it is all combined into a nice batter. If it seems too liquidy, you can put it in the refrigerator for a little while to stiffen it up.

Now the obvious part. Take large spoonfuls of dough, and plop them onto the cookie sheet. I like to use my hands to form balls with them, but you don't have to do that.

Put the cookie sheet in the oven for 10 minutes.

After 10 minutes, take them out of the oven. They will still look wet and mushy, but their color should be golden brown. Let them sit on the cookie sheet for a while. If you don't, when you try to remove them they will turn into mushy blobs. When they've cooled a little, you should be able to remove them very easily by sliding a spatula under each cookie and moving it to a cookie rack or plate or wherever you are going to put them to finish cooling off.

Now eat one. And then eat another. And another. And another. And another. And another...

I hope you like this recipe! Over and out.


  1. Sometime blogging breaks are needed. Good for you for taking one when you were bored with blogging. The recipe for cookies sounds good (minus the coconut!!!) :-)

  2. Having had up-close and personal experience with serious drug addictions (heroin, not meth, but just as bad), I know from personal experience that there is nothing funny or cute or entertaining about drug addiction. I know you didn't mean it, but what you wrote was hurtful and trivializing and offensive and and really not kind.

    Easy enough to fix, if you want to. Removing the sentences that compare your cookies to meth would be good.

  3. The cookies look great and I will eventually try them!
    Thanks for the synopsis of Breaking Bad. I have never watched it, but was very curious about the story line because the show was so popular and everybody but me knew what was going on!


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