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Neurodiversity Awareness/Appreciation

Neurodiversity Awareness/Appreciation

Saturday, January 17, 2015

Do You Want To Hear The Traumatizing Story?

There is nothing much new going on in my actual life. I was going to write about the "traumatizing" incident I experienced a few weeks ago, but now that it has been a while, it doesn't even seem that interesting. To make a long story short, my 60-year-old parents got in a drunken brawl, I went downstairs to see what was going on, found them acting foolish, and tried to tell them to stop. Nobody was listening to me, which caused me to get frustrated and stand there with my hands on my head and my eyes wide open. Then my mom told me, "Angel, call the cops!" That was what freaked me out the most, I think. Instead of calling the cops (which, by the way, it is lucky I didn't, because my mom wasn't in any actual danger, and in fact was probably the one who could have been in trouble for domestic violence, while my dad was guilty of pretty much just being obnoxious like a little brother in the back seat who puts his finger right next to your head and says, "I'm not touching you!" But I digress...) 

I don't even really remember the next part. I heard, "Angel, call the cops!" come out of my mom's mouth, and then I heard a scream of anguish come out of my own mouth. The next thing I knew, I was sitting on the stairs, covering my face with my hands, rocking frantically back and forth and screaming! 

It is a little embarrassing to talk about. It is not like I have never seen my parents get in a fight before... in fact, I grew up trying to protect my little brother from being upset by their squabbles. And I've seen way worse from other people. I have, in fact, called the police on my former roommate's husband, because he was beating her up and holding a knife to her throat. I held her baby in my arms in the bedroom and tried to keep her 6-year-old from running out of the room, while shouting the address into my cell phone. I've also barricaded myself in a bedroom at what was supposed to be a teenager's birthday party, after a fight broke out between multiple members of my roommate's next husband's family, because my roommate's then-husband caught my roommate kissing his sister's husband. Yeah. A huge fight broke out, and I was running and gathering sleeping little kids and putting them in one of the bedrooms, where I leaned against the door and tried to assure everyone that everything was okay, despite the sounds of screams coming from the other side of the house! I am usually pretty brave. 

But I guess watching my parents being drunk and out of control, and being told to call the police on my own dad, was too much. Complete melt down for me! 

When I began flipping out, my parents both stopped fighting and stared at me, appearing to suddenly sober up. My dad walked away and my mom grabbed me and pulled me into her room, where I sat on the floor yelling and having an anxiety attack. Finally I started to calm down. I wanted only one thing... to get back up to my bedroom, where my small dog was waiting for me at the top of the stairs! (She actually does know how to go up and down the stairs on her own, but she usually prefers to be carried, because she's spoiled like that! I once came home from work and found her crying at the top of the stairs, because she'd walked up there and realized there was nobody to carry her back down, so she just stood there and whined until I came home and rescued her! But again, I digress...) 

Soon as I got my dog in my arms, I could feel my anxiety easing. I carried my dog back into my bed. I was still shaking as my mom told me that, after Christmas, she was kicking my dad out of the house. 

Which, by the way, never happened. They gave each other the silent treatment for about a week. Then I reminded them that my brother and Sunny and Squeak were coming for Christmas, and all our family members would be over, and they'd have to act normal for that, so they might as well start now. And they did... and have been seemingly fine ever since. It is only me who still gets a sinking feeling in my stomach every time they announce that they are going "out!" 

Just another reason for me to work on moving out of here. 

Annnnnnyyyywaaaaaaaaaaays....
As far as my plans for Over The Rainbow go, it is going pretty well! I have gotten connected with the Autism Society of Oregon, and some of the members there have been giving me some tips and suggestions for areas to set up in and how to get started. I still really want to do it. I've been planning some aspect of it every day. Besides the website, I have an Indiegogo site where I am soliciting contributions for start-up funds (I put the lofty goal of $5,000, just in case there are some really rich benefactors out there who'd make huge donations.. so far I've gotten $45 so that is a good start for the first week) I also started a Pinterest board to collect my ideas, and an Amazon wish list of things I would eventually like to buy for the place once I actually have a building to put them in,  

Of course when I mentioned my plan to my mom, she quickly told me that I could not do it and that I needed to get a regular job. So I just stopped talking, and I'm hoping she'll forget I said anything. From now on I am only going to speak to people about it who will either, a.) Give me encouragement, or, b.) Give me constructive criticism that will help me perfect my plan. "You can't do that" is not constructive criticism, it is just negativity! 

I've told my dad a lot about it. He TRIES to give constructive criticism, but it ends up sounding like this, "What are you going to do when some little kid chokes on a grape, or slips on a wet spot, or slits his wrists in the bathroom?" Uhhhhhhh.... well.... ?????

Okay, I've got a wicked headache in just one weird spot on my head, so I am going to sign out now and take a nap. Thanks for reading! 


4 comments :

  1. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. That sounds really stressful!

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  2. I'm sorry that your parents put you through that. But I think it's spectacular the way your little dog was there for you! A heartwarming moment in an otherwise crappy story.

    For what it's worth, you wrote this *so well!* Even when you're stressed, you express yourself adeptly. That is an important skill/talent to have.

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  3. UGH your parent's fight sounds awful but I think your project sounds amazing and I can't wait until I have some money to contribute!!! Such a great idea. Also I hope your parents don't "go out" anytime soon!!!

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  4. That definitely would have caused me to have a huge meltdown. Don't feel bad about it, perfectly understandable for when our brains are overwhelmed. Good post!

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