Neurodiversity Awareness/Appreciation

Neurodiversity Awareness/Appreciation

Wednesday, January 28, 2015


After a little bit of a hiatus from substituting (there was winter break, and then a week off due to cold weather, and then just a slow week where teachers probably didn't want to miss work after being gone for so long) I am pretty much FORCING myself to work as much as I can. By forcing myself, I mean that I have already worked yesterday and today, and I am sitting here preventing myself from just cancelling the job I have tomorrow, because I DON'T WANT TO GO!

Sometimes it is not that bad. Mostly I am trying to stick to subbing at the special ed or early childhood programs, because I like it a lot more than trying to take charge of a whole class of 20 hooligans who are trying to be as bad as possible! There are about 3 schools in the district that I go to regularly. There are other schools in the district that just don't have as many special ed or early childhood classrooms. And there is one school that I have actually cut off from calling me to sub, because of how people have treated me there. These 3 schools I frequent, I've somewhat gotten to know people... I mean not like I'm friends with them, but at least I recognize their faces and know some of their names!

Of these, there are some classes that I really enjoy going to. I always enjoy the kids, so it is really the staff that makes it or breaks it for me. In some of the classes, the staff members are cheerful, calm, have senses of humor, and seem to enjoy being with the kids. I mean, nobody is in a great mood at all times, but they definitely try to make it a pleasant environment for everyone.

There are other classrooms where the staff members (teachers and assistants) just seem so irritable all the time. They snap at the children all day. It goes beyond discipline, and just seems like they just can't stand the kids! The children get yelled at for saying, "Goodbye, books," when the books are collected after Read To Self time. ("NO! We do NOT say goodbye to BOOKS!") They get yelled at for asking if they can sing the "pizza song" during circle time. They get yelled at for putting two different colors of playdough together (like yellow pizza with red pepperonis.) They get yelled at for crashing the toy cars together. They get yelled at for touching the wall with their hand as they walk along in the hallway. 

Yesterday I had to help out while several preschool classes were having gym time. Their gym time is run by the classroom teachers and assistants, not a PE teacher. The teachers had decided to teach the children "Red Light, Green Light." The teacher in charge would hold up a green piece of paper when she wanted them to "go," and a red one when she wanted them to "stop." But the 3 and 4 year olds, who are not known for their impulse control skills, kept forgetting to pay attention to the colors of the papers, and the teacher was not using verbal cues, so kids kept on running when they were meant to top, and stopping when they were meant to run! So all of the teachers and assistants were yelling at the children, and grabbing them by their arms and yanking them back to the start line if they didn't stop right away. Because they noticed that the children just weren't getting it, they decided it would be a good idea to make it even more difficult. Now, if the "light" was red, the children were supposed to freeze and not move at all... not swing their arms or turn their heads, And all of them kept getting sent back, and all of them kept getting yelled at, and nobody was having fun! I wanted so badly to run out of there!

Multiple times I've been sort of scolded myself for not scolding the kids for something I didn't think was an issue. I mean they wouldn't come out and say, "WTF," or anything, but they'd storm over and yell at the child, and then frown dramatically at me. Once I was working with a kid on an art project thing, and I asked him to write his name on the back of the paper. He sort of just scrawled the letters across the back. Having never met him before, I just accepted it... it looked pretty typical of how a 4-year-old would write their name, even without special needs. But an assistant came over and yelled at the little kid to do better, and then frowned at me and said, "He's playing you!" But how would I know? If I knew the kid, I'd be able to recognize what was sloppy work from him, but I'd never met him before at all! 

In the class I was in today, there were not many kids at all. It is a class for kids with autism, so they have it set up ABA style, where there are enough teachers that each child will be working 1:1 with a teacher most of the time. Since some kids were absent, there were actually less kids than teachers, which meant I mostly just sat around looking awkward while everyone else works with kids. In that room, the staff members tend to almost completely ignore me. I kind of played with whatever kids were in the play area (usually 1 kid at a time) but that makes for a loooooooong day, especially since most of the kids are not very interactive.

So tomorrow I have to go there again... and now that I write about it, it sounds stupid, how much I don't want to go. I feel like crying or hyperventilating when I think about going. I guess it just triggers my anxiety issues. I keep telling myself, just chill, enjoy the kids, and don't worry about what the other people are thinking of me. But I keep getting that sick, can't-breathe-right feeling whenever I think of it. 

I keep telling myself, "This is just what I have to do for now." Because I have a goal! And by this time next year, I will be the teacher at Over The Rainbow! (Although I might have to call it something else, because there are a whole bunch of kid-related businesses called Over The Rainbow, in Oregon. I was thinking maybe Kaleidoscope. What do you think of that? Or maybe I could have a contest on this blog, and ask you guys to come up with your ideas, and then we could vote on the best!

See, just thinking about all that makes me feel better. But I know in about 12 hours I'll be feeling like bawling as I get ready for work! I DON'T WANT TO GO! 

Saturday, January 24, 2015

Stimming - Naughty or Nice?

Hi everyone! I haven't written in a few days... nothing new has been happening. I've been busy working on my big plan, working at some subbing jobs, and playing Wii Beatles Rock Band with my dad! (He got me the Beatles Rock Band game and a guitar for Christmas, and we got a microphone for it as well last week, so now we are always rocking out!) 

There's nothing new going on with me really, but I did want to point out a cool series of YouTube videos called Ask An Autistic. It is by a young lady with autism. I found a link to her videos on a Facebook group, and when I started watching them, I felt like I'd found a friend!

One of the first videos I watched by her is called "What Is Passing? Or, Should I Stop My Child From Stimming?" Stimming (I hate that word, but that is what it is most commonly known as) is something that many adults with autism spectrum disorders think about. Most children with autism stim unselfconsciously, because it helps them center themselves. They don't think about it... they just do it, the way people scratch an itch or cough without making a decision to do it. Often the adults around them are the ones telling them to knock it off. 

As you grow up, you start to struggle with it yourself. Imagine having an itch or having to cough, but knowing that if you do it, people are going to stare at you, think you are strange, and possibly fire you from your job! Would you be anxious to just get somewhere private so that you could cough or scratch your itch? Would you be able to do your best work, or really be present with your family, if you were focusing on suppressing your itching and coughing? And even if you were really concentrating on not doing these things, a cough just might slip out.

In her video, Amythest Schaber talks about how a of the work done with children with autism is done to get them to appear "normal." She talks about the phrase, "table ready," which means getting a child to the point where they can sit at a table at school (or a desk, I guess) being quiet and still, without stimming, and without looking "autistic" in any way. The reason behind this is not to make it easier for the child to learn, but to make it easier for him to be accepted by a group of neurotypical people. 

(By the way, you can probably guess that the word "passing" is borrowed from the old concept of a light-skinned black person "passing" as a white person, and therefore getting all of the privileges that were, back in the day, afforded only to white people. When I think about black people passing as white, I think of how hard it must have been to try to pretend you were something you were not, just to survive, and how other black people who did not have the option of passing might resent you for using your light-skinnedness to get ahead in the world, and how they never should have had to do that in the first place because those privileges should have rightfully belonged to everyone, no matter what color or shade their skin was. What if we substituted the word "black" for "autistic," and "light-skinned" for "high functioning?" That is an interesting concept!) 

Amythest mentions the idea of "Gorilla Stimming." That sounds really funny to me because I keep thinking of a gorilla flapping his hand or rocking! But what she means is, if people with autism just stopped bothering to suppress their stimming, and just flapped and hopped and twirled right out in public, eventually it wouldn't be considered strange anymore. She points out that people are afraid of things that seem different or unexpected... but if people just got used to seeing others stim as they worked and played, it would no longer be upsetting to them. It would just be part of our lives. Long long ago, people would get upset when they saw a woman wearing a dress that exposed her ankles... but then dresses got shorter, and people got used to that, and now it is normal. If we had never heard a person speaking Spanish before, we might be freaked out by hearing people conversing in Spanish, and we might think that they were speaking in some sort of weird tongues or were possessed by demons! But since we live in a world where speaking other languages is normal and expected, most people do not bat an eye when they hear others speaking Spanish. (Yes, there are people who get mad and say, "This is America! Speak English!" But the rest of us generally try to ignore those people.) 

I think it would be cool to live in a world where we were free to stim. When I'm at work, I am constantly stopping myself from rocking (especially when I'm talking... it almost feels like I need to rock in order to make words come out of my mouth!) or flapping my hands when I'm nervous, or hopping when I'm excited. I have heard co-workers talk about former co-workers who "seemed a little spectrumy" or "must have had Aspergers," and their talk is not positive. But I also try never to stop children from stimming, except when it involves self-harm, such as biting their hands or banging their heads. It is a very hard thing to think about.

So what do you think? Is it better to openly stim, and allow children to stim, because it should be acceptable and it doesn't hurt anyone else and it does actually help us to self-regulate? Or do we suppress it, and teach children to suppress it, because we know that it often isn't acceptable and that people might treat us differently? 

I want to hear your thoughts! Be sure to watch the video, too! 

Saturday, January 17, 2015

Do You Want To Hear The Traumatizing Story?

There is nothing much new going on in my actual life. I was going to write about the "traumatizing" incident I experienced a few weeks ago, but now that it has been a while, it doesn't even seem that interesting. To make a long story short, my 60-year-old parents got in a drunken brawl, I went downstairs to see what was going on, found them acting foolish, and tried to tell them to stop. Nobody was listening to me, which caused me to get frustrated and stand there with my hands on my head and my eyes wide open. Then my mom told me, "Angel, call the cops!" That was what freaked me out the most, I think. Instead of calling the cops (which, by the way, it is lucky I didn't, because my mom wasn't in any actual danger, and in fact was probably the one who could have been in trouble for domestic violence, while my dad was guilty of pretty much just being obnoxious like a little brother in the back seat who puts his finger right next to your head and says, "I'm not touching you!" But I digress...) 

I don't even really remember the next part. I heard, "Angel, call the cops!" come out of my mom's mouth, and then I heard a scream of anguish come out of my own mouth. The next thing I knew, I was sitting on the stairs, covering my face with my hands, rocking frantically back and forth and screaming! 

It is a little embarrassing to talk about. It is not like I have never seen my parents get in a fight before... in fact, I grew up trying to protect my little brother from being upset by their squabbles. And I've seen way worse from other people. I have, in fact, called the police on my former roommate's husband, because he was beating her up and holding a knife to her throat. I held her baby in my arms in the bedroom and tried to keep her 6-year-old from running out of the room, while shouting the address into my cell phone. I've also barricaded myself in a bedroom at what was supposed to be a teenager's birthday party, after a fight broke out between multiple members of my roommate's next husband's family, because my roommate's then-husband caught my roommate kissing his sister's husband. Yeah. A huge fight broke out, and I was running and gathering sleeping little kids and putting them in one of the bedrooms, where I leaned against the door and tried to assure everyone that everything was okay, despite the sounds of screams coming from the other side of the house! I am usually pretty brave. 

But I guess watching my parents being drunk and out of control, and being told to call the police on my own dad, was too much. Complete melt down for me! 

When I began flipping out, my parents both stopped fighting and stared at me, appearing to suddenly sober up. My dad walked away and my mom grabbed me and pulled me into her room, where I sat on the floor yelling and having an anxiety attack. Finally I started to calm down. I wanted only one thing... to get back up to my bedroom, where my small dog was waiting for me at the top of the stairs! (She actually does know how to go up and down the stairs on her own, but she usually prefers to be carried, because she's spoiled like that! I once came home from work and found her crying at the top of the stairs, because she'd walked up there and realized there was nobody to carry her back down, so she just stood there and whined until I came home and rescued her! But again, I digress...) 

Soon as I got my dog in my arms, I could feel my anxiety easing. I carried my dog back into my bed. I was still shaking as my mom told me that, after Christmas, she was kicking my dad out of the house. 

Which, by the way, never happened. They gave each other the silent treatment for about a week. Then I reminded them that my brother and Sunny and Squeak were coming for Christmas, and all our family members would be over, and they'd have to act normal for that, so they might as well start now. And they did... and have been seemingly fine ever since. It is only me who still gets a sinking feeling in my stomach every time they announce that they are going "out!" 

Just another reason for me to work on moving out of here. 

As far as my plans for Over The Rainbow go, it is going pretty well! I have gotten connected with the Autism Society of Oregon, and some of the members there have been giving me some tips and suggestions for areas to set up in and how to get started. I still really want to do it. I've been planning some aspect of it every day. Besides the website, I have an Indiegogo site where I am soliciting contributions for start-up funds (I put the lofty goal of $5,000, just in case there are some really rich benefactors out there who'd make huge donations.. so far I've gotten $45 so that is a good start for the first week) I also started a Pinterest board to collect my ideas, and an Amazon wish list of things I would eventually like to buy for the place once I actually have a building to put them in,  

Of course when I mentioned my plan to my mom, she quickly told me that I could not do it and that I needed to get a regular job. So I just stopped talking, and I'm hoping she'll forget I said anything. From now on I am only going to speak to people about it who will either, a.) Give me encouragement, or, b.) Give me constructive criticism that will help me perfect my plan. "You can't do that" is not constructive criticism, it is just negativity! 

I've told my dad a lot about it. He TRIES to give constructive criticism, but it ends up sounding like this, "What are you going to do when some little kid chokes on a grape, or slips on a wet spot, or slits his wrists in the bathroom?" Uhhhhhhh.... well.... ?????

Okay, I've got a wicked headache in just one weird spot on my head, so I am going to sign out now and take a nap. Thanks for reading! 

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Daydreaming Towards Reality

I know you are probably getting sick of hearing about my Over The Rainbow idea. I mean, how much can a person possibly listen to a blogger talk about a business that doesn't, and may not ever, exist?

But, as my Auntie Em once told me, I can daydream it into reality. And as another aunt told me as we were having a talk at our Christmas celebration, if I keep taking steps towards my goal, I can achieve it. So...

Can I just talk a little bit more about it?

On the creative visualization side, I have made a Facebook page for the idea of the business. I will eventually turn this into the business's official page, but for now, of course, I am making it clear that this is a page to support the plan! I have 3 Likes so far. (Two of them are my own self.)

I also created a Pinterest board where I am starting to collect ideas, and an Amazon Wishlist for things I would like to have there. (Because Open Play hours will be one of the ways that I will be reaching out to the community and getting exposure, I would probably start with some larger things such as the play structure, and get smaller things from thrift stores and garage sales and what I already have. I also had a cool idea for a grand opening... I would have open play hours- including some special activities like story time, art projects, etc- on a Saturday before we officially open. Instead of charging admission, I would ask people to bring a new or gently used toy, book, or art supply to donate to us. It would be like a "shower!"

On the networking side, I posted on some Oregon-based message boards about my idea, asking for feedback, and one person suggested I talk to the Oregon Autism Society to see if I could survey their members.

I also did some research to see if people have created similar businesses and been successful. I found Kaitlin's Hideout here in Illinois, and Yikes Tikes in California. Both are sort of similar ideas. There is also Gigi's Playhouse, which started out in Illinois and is now nationwide. (Gigi's Playhouse is a nonprofit, specifically geared towards people with Down syndrome and their families.) So I definitely think this is something doable!

And here is my tentative, tentative, tentative timeline for getting it up and running.

January/February/March - continuing to sub here in Illinois, saving up money and gathering resources and ideas.

March/April/May - Going out to Oregon to stay with my aunt for a while, subbing there to make more money, getting a place to live in the area, looking into a space for the business to exist.

June - Actually acquiring a space, getting it set up, getting a business license, looking into advertising, etc. Possibly also teaching in a summer school class like I did last year (I could even go back to Illinois for a few weeks if I get rehired for the same place I worked in for the last few summers) to make extra money and stay on top of things.

End of July/beginning of August - Opening "shower" day for the community, open play hours (for a fee) during the week, recruiting kids for the preschool program, networking. First official respite Saturday.

September - Preschool begins! Business is in full swing!

October - I make a million dollars and say "toldjaso" to all the haters.

I have to admit, I do keep having these pangs of, "I'm wasting my time daydreaming about this." I haven't even mentioned it to my mom yet because she'd just tell me a thousand reasons why not to do it. I just keep having to tell myself, there is no reason on Earth why this couldn't become a reality. I just have to keep working on it.

My book With Love, From Angel is now officially available, and you can get it in a multitude of ways!

The full-color version is available on CreateSpace for $20, or Amazon for $18. You can also get it on Kindle for $7.00. But if you buy the hard copy on Amazon
, you can also have the Kindle version for free!

The black-and-white version is available on Createspacefor $10, or Amazon for $9.00.

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Maybe Nothing To Lose

A cool example of a sensory room
Are you getting tired of hearing about my big ideas yet? Sometimes they seem to come and go as quickly as Fraggles, (The Muppet kind, not the meth head kind.)  But there are one or two that have been sticking around, refusing to fade away. 

One of those is my dream of starting a school. I have written about it before and even made a website for it. 

I have been thinking of it as more of a long-term plan, like a "some day" kind of thing. But today I was thinking about both of my parents putting in super long hours at jobs that they don't really like, and thinking how I do not want to be like that. Even subbing is a nightmare to me, because it is a mixture of being anxious about never knowing exactly what I am supposed to be doing, and boredom from not really having much of a purpose. (I mean, yeah, subs are important, and there are people who consider subbing their full time job and love it. But the parts I love best about teaching... getting to know the kids, creating a classroom environment, planning the lessons, and meeting ongoing challenges, are not really a part of subbing.) 

So then I was thinking... here I am with no job, no place to live, no anything... literally, nothing to lose. Literally. Lit-er-all-y. If there was ever a time for me to take a chance and try to create something out of nothing, it would be now! Because, if it doesn't work out... well, the worst case scenario would still find me at the same place that I am at now. And maybe even a little better off, because of the experiences I'll have gone through in the process. And as a lot of people I know are trying to find jobs right now, while also trying to maintain homes and provide for children, I could actually be considered sort of fortunate for the opportunity I have. 

In any event, I am giving serious thought to trying to get Over The Rainbow started by this fall. Like, September.

Here's what my research has told me so far: (And please correct me if I'm wrong!!!) In Oregon, a preschool program where children attend for four hours or less per day is not required to follow all of the same standards as an accredited preschool program, which is usually in a day care center. And obviously I would want to follow most of the requirements anyways... especially those that involve background checks for all employees, a safe environment, etc. Mostly, what it means to me is that I would not need someone who is "director qualified" to run the program. All I would really need is a regular business license, plus get background checks on any employees (which I would want to do anyways, obviously!) The programs I would want to start out with would be the preschool program, weekly drop-in, and monthly respite. This would give me time to begin working on any additional requirements to become accredited and also work towards becoming an actual "school!" 

So the main things I would need to dredge up would be:
1. Space for the program... Either a storefront type place such as in a strip mall, or some sort of fixed-up warehouse, or even a house! A house might actually be best because it would be safe and private (no parking lots or random strangers to contend with, like you might in a strip mall. And lets say some crazy person is running from the police and wants to run into someplace to hide... a public space in a strip mall would be more likely to be targeted by the crazy person, than a random, anonymous house in a residential neighborhood!) and we could have our own backyard playground, multiple rooms for different purposes (for instance a tutoring room and an art room) and a kitchen to do cooking and science projects in.  But I don't know how that would work with renting a house, as some rental properties might not allow that! I also would probably not want to live full time in the same building, because my small dog needs a quiet place to live, and I would want to have my bedroom and furniture and stuff in my own home, which would not leave a lot of room for kid stuff! 

2. Equipment for the program... I have a lot of educational stuff and could acquire more as we go along, but we would definitely need kid-sized furniture, Definitely some sensory stuff too. I am thinking of making a Pinterest page of ideas. Especially because we'd be using the space for drop-in hours and monthly respite care, I would want it to feel really special and fun, not like a typical classroom! 

3. One or two "partners" to start the business with me. I won't want to ask anyone else to contribute their own money to start out, but maybe the partners would be able to help me raise money for the start up, help with finding the location, organizational stuff, etc. They'd also, of course, be helping to run the actual program and working with the kids!

4 A hellsbells lot of money to start all this! How much? I don't know yet! But I will surely save at least part of my tax refund (minus whatever it takes me to actually move to Oregon when the time comes and what I will have to contribute to my aunt for letting me stay) and part of whatever money I make subbing between now and then, as well as whatever money I make selling my books. 

So... is there ANYONE OUT THERE who is more organized and business-savvy than me, who could perhaps give me a clue about how to start out? I have lots of great small pictures floating around in my mind, but for me the hard part is putting them into sensible order and combining them into a big picture. 

I want to hear from YOU! I need some encouragement to keep going, while my mind is still spinning with ideas, before I get discouraged and crawl back under the bed to hide! 
My book With Love, From Angel is now officially available, and you can get it in a multitude of ways!

The full-color version is available on CreateSpace for $20, or Amazon for $18. You can also get it on Kindle for $7.00. But if you buy the hard copy on Amazon
, you can also have the Kindle version for free!

The black-and-white version is available on Createspacefor $10, or Amazon for $9.00.

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

What I Did Over My Christmas Vacation, by Angel the Alien

Now that it is January 6, and I haven't written an actual post for a while, I thought I might as well write about all of the stuff I did over my Christmas vacation! 
The fun started on Christmas Eve, when Bro and Sunny and Squeak arrived in Chicago. They were supposed to get there two days earlier, but their flight got cancelled. It was the flight out of their small town that was cancelled, so they had to wait two days just to get another flight, out of a different small-town airport a few hours away. They arrived at 5 am on Christmas Eve, and got to have a few hours of sleep before our grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins showed up. It was a fun and low-key celebration, with everyone marveling at little Squeak! He's 19 months old, and a very happy, smiley, engaging toddler. He also has a great throwing arm and we're pretty sure he has a bright future as an athlete! He loves any type of ball, and our living room was quickly filled with any type or size of ball we could scrounge up, for Squeak's throwing pleasure! 
Christmas Day was spent with us just lounging around the house, opening presents from each other and eating food and just hanging out. Then we went over to my grandparents' house in the afternoon so that my grandparents could spend some more time with Squeak! They are in their 80's and can't really travel, so the only time they get to see Squeak is when Bro and Sunny come to Chicago, which so far is only at Christmas. So we were trying to give them as much time as possible with him!
The next few days were also spent just lounging around. Over the weekend Bro and Sunny rented a house in the city, and I got to go stay there with them! We spent some time roaming around in the city, hung out at the house playing with Squeak, and then after Squeak went to bed we stayed up late playing Bananagrams and soaking in the hot tub! 
Me and Sunny in front of a building

Me and Sunny, with Squeak on her back, in front of an art gallery!

We spent most of the next day at the Field Museum, which was really cool. And that night, we had fun playing 90s Trivia Pursuit and hanging out in the hot tub again!
Me and Bro in front of some totem poles
Part of the Voudou exhibit at the Field Museum

Me taking a picture in a mirror in the Voudou exhibit! It is not a great picture. Also you were not supposed to use flash, and I thought my flash was off, but clearly it was on! 

We spent more time just lounging around the house at home. Mostly when Squeak was awake, we all played with him, and when he went to bed we spent a lot of time playing Wii in the basement! This included New Years Eve. It was one of the best ever for me, because usually I am just sitting at home with my dogs while my parents are out at parties. We had a big dinner and then spent most of the evening playing Wii!
On New Years Day we took Squeak over to my grandparents' house one more time, and then drove through the Cuneo Museum light show. It is this Christmas light display that you can drive through. I didn't take any pictures because we were driving, but here is a photo I found online of one of the displays, to give you the idea! Unfortunately, this is the last year they are going to have it, because some meany has bought the property and is going to use it to build condos on. 

After that we went out for Chinese food. The only bad part there was that I ordered egg drop soup, and when you get soup they give you this big glass soup spoon, I was happily eating my soup, when I noticed what looked like blood on the spoon. Then I realized my lip was bleeding! The soup spoon had a chip in it, and it had cut my lip! My mom told the waitress, and she got her boss and they were both very upset and apologized a million times. But I couldn't finish my soup, because I was bleeding too much!

January 3 was the day that they were scheduled to leave. On January 2 I was really hoping we could do something fun as a family one more time. I thought of the children's museum, but when we went there there was a line out the door and it just seemed far too crowded to navigate with a 19-month-old. Then I thought of a near by nature center that has a really cool play area for kids with a treehouse and stuff... but when we got there we found out that it is closed on Fridays!!! I was starting to feel sad that nothing I thought of was working out. But there were some animals in cages outside that we enjoyed looking at, so it turned out somewhat okay. 

By that evening I was starting to panic. Goodbyes are very hard for me. Last year when Bro, Sunny and Squeak left after the holidays, I went into a bad depression episode! I think the fear of having another episode was actually worse than what the depression itself would have been. So I did something I wouldn't necessarily recommend trying at home, but it worked for me. I took an extra dose of my Celexa that evening, and in the morning I took a double dose of my Wellbutrin as well! Somehow it was enough to fend off the extra oncoming depression. I was still really sad, but not overwhelmingly so. It did not bring me to my knees in pain, like usual. I was able to enjoy playing with Squeak for the last few hours, ride to the airport with them, say goodbye without having a panic attack, and then spend the rest of the day helping put away the Christmas decorations and playing Wii by myself. I miss them so much though!

I feel like I really need to have all of the people I love to be near me, and I'm never going to have that. If I move to Oregon I will be closer to my aunt and uncle, and to Bro and Sunny and Squeak, but far from my parents, grandparents, and younger cousins. I wish everyone could be together!

Anyways, thanks for reading this very exciting post! 

My book With Love, From Angel is now officially available, and you can get it in a multitude of ways!

The full-color version is available on CreateSpace for $20, or Amazon for $18. You can also get it on Kindle for $7.00. But if you buy the hard copy on Amazon
, you can also have the Kindle version for free!

The black-and-white version is available on Createspacefor $10, or Amazon for $9.00.

Friday, January 2, 2015

This Is How We Jam

I am feeling a little low tonight. For the past ten days, Bro, Sunny and baby Squeak have been staying here! They were here for both Christmas and New Years, It was a lot of fun! Squeak is 19 months old now and a lot of fun! He loves to interact with us and imitate what we're doing. Here is a video of one of my favorite memories from the week. I'm going to miss them all so much, I don't know what to do!

My book With Love, From Angel is now officially available, and you can get it in a multitude of ways!

The full-color version is available on CreateSpace for $20, or Amazon for $18. You can also get it on Kindle for $7.00. But if you buy the hard copy on Amazon
, you can also have the Kindle version for free!

The black-and-white version is available on Createspacefor $10, or Amazon for $9.00.

Let me know what you think!