It is Day 2 of NaBloPoMo, and my feelings of inertia and listlessness continue, but I am up writing this blog so that is good. I spent most of the day before this upstairs hibernating in my room, after my mom called me a lazy slob. So, yeah. I don't have a TV in my room (actually I do but it doesn't get any reception) and my computer was downstairs, so I was watching movies on my Kindle. I have Amazon Prime, and there are movies you can watch for free. (I have a free account which I signed up for while I was in college. College students who have an edu email address can get Amazon Prime for half price!
I decided to watch a movie called Sugar. It is an Indie movie about a 20-year-old woman named Sugar who is homeless. It sort of follows the lives of her and her friends who live on the streets, including the 13-year-old boy she has unofficially adopted.
I have posted before that I have been homeless, beginning when I was 17 and then on and off until I was about 24. It is strange, but I actually sometimes still get "homesick" for life on the streets... especially for the early years when it still sort of seemed like an adventure. When you are homeless, especially as a kid, there is a feeling of belonging. It is very hard to explain. Because there is also the feeling of not belonging, to society in general. You can be walking down the street and passing stores and restaurants and houses, and know they don't belong to you. They belong to all of the "regular" people. You know if you go into a store, you won't be welcome, even if you do have some money to buy something with. You know that people stare at you while pretending not to look. You know that a lot of them want you to not be there.
But at the same time, it feels like the streets themselves belong to you. You hang out on the sidewalks and by the fountains and at the train station so much, that these places are your home. And the regular people who are walking past, they are kind of trespassing. They're on their way to the stores and restaurants and businesses where they belong, and they're completely aware that the streets are yours! It is like being a ghost.
Also, you usually know a lot of other homeless people in the area, and everywhere you go you see people you know. People form tight groups that are like families, and everyone knows each other's business. It is like being in a small town, inside of a big town. And most of the time, people are very accepting of each other. There are the usual problems of fights and stuff that happen whenever a bunch of people live very closely together. But it is still a community.
I have not felt that anywhere else except for when I was homeless. I miss it. The feeling, that is. Not the actual homeless part. Although sometimes it is kind of fun. It is a little like camping. Except you have no money and not much food, and the cops keep waking you up in the middle of the night to make you move.
Anyways... the movie "Sugar" was somehow haunting to me. It might be partly because a lot of the "actors" were actual homeless people, so that made it more realistic. And the ending... well I don't want to give it away, in case you want to watch it. But if you do watch it, you will understand what I am talking about.
I think you should watch the movie. And then tell me what you think about it! Here are some links to where you can watch it online, and if you have Comcast you might be able to watch it On Demand! It is also on Amazon here.
By the way, November is National Homeless Youth Awareness Month!