I've been mentioning for a few days now about my general job dissatisfaction and how I was having trouble forcing myself to go to work. I was considering looking for a new job as a day care teacher, but then realized that might not be possible because of the fact that my ECE credits are in quarter hours, not semester hours. I was sinking into a state of despair.
But then I stumbled upon an idea... substitute teaching! I decided to sign up in the district where I did my student teaching. I can make $100 a day, plus take days off when I need them! (For instance, when I continue taking my classes, this time I will actually have time to do the observations... I can just take a morning off when I need to! And if I get oerwhelmed with homework, I can take a day off to catch up!)
Once I realized that, and got my paperwork all ready and signed up for subbing, it was impossible to make myself go to work.
I tried. I got up this morning, got dressed, packed a lunch, ate breakfast, etc... but I just couldn't go. I found myself nearly having a panic attackat the thought of going in one more day.
I don't know why. There was nothing really to dislike about the job itself. Maybe it is a med issue. Maybe if I was on my meds, I would have been able to stick with it. I don't know.
All I know is, I didn't go to work today. I am here, instead, feeling really nervous and guilty and shady. And I'm telling you this, my bloggy friends, because I will never admit it to anyone else.
Hopefully I can begin subbing later this week, or next week, and make a few hundred bucks before winter break starts. It will be a good way to save up money for my move. But I still feel terrible about "playing hooky" for the rest of this week!
And now, without further ado, some songs about this week's theme... addiction!
The first one I thought of is "Laid," by James. A lovely song about codependence, if there ever was one!
Then, of course, there is Amy Winehouse. They tried to make her go to rehab, but she said No, no, no!
What about the Pied Piper? You know you would follow him anywhere!
Or, my favorite song that I like to dedicate to my friend Erick... The Mighty Quinn! When Quinn the Eskimo gets here, everybody's gonna run to him!
I'm not sure if this last song is about addiction, but it is the closing song for the movie "Spun," which is about people who are addicted to meth, and so that's what it reminds me of. Plus it is one of my favorite songs. And they do say "We're all rewinding to get high" right in the song, so...
PS... I just saw the website and realized I must have read it wrong last night. The theme is not about addiction to substances, but addiction to LOVE! Oh well. These songs are metaphorical then, okay? This is the kind of day in which I end up doing everything just a little backwards.
Play along at JenKehl.com if you want!