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Neurodiversity Awareness/Appreciation

Neurodiversity Awareness/Appreciation

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Not So Bad After All!

This picture is pretty old but one of my favorites. It is from New
Years Eve a few years ago. They were afraid of the
fireworks so they decided it was safest to get into a pile! 
 On Friday night when my parents were getting ready to go on their trip, I was kind of panicking about the idea of being alone in the house for a whole week. I was really afraid I was going to be lonely and depressed! Usually in the past when they went on trips, I was working at the time, so I was basically still in my usual routine for the bulk of the day. Plus since I was working, I generally was tired by 10 pm and konked out with no trouble... so really I only had to contend with being alone for about 6 hours a day. But since I'm not working now, the thought of being alone in the house, 24/7, day after day, freaked me out! I tried to deal with it by planning on going to Meetup events every single day so that I would at least have something to fill up a few hours per day. 

I am now four days into my stint of loneliness, and guess what? I am fine! In fact, I am enjoying being alone! I haven't even gone to most of my Meetup events. (That isn't necessarily a good thing. I shouldn't self-isolate or whatever you wanna call it. But I'm just saying, I haven't been desperate for a distraction!) I've been fine with being home with my dogs to keep me company!

There are many things I can do when I am home alone, without having to worry. Here are a few. 

1. If I cook something like macaroni and cheese, I can put the pot in the sink and deal with it when I get to it, instead of immediately having to run upstairs and wash it the second I finish my dinner!

2. I can leave my keys, shoes and purse downstairs by the door, instead of having to take them up to my room as soon as I get home. 

3. I can use the computer whenever I want, for as long as I want, without anyone pointing out something more useful I could be doing. In fact I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, and it doesn't have to be useful at all! 

4. I can open the windows or close them or do whatever I want with them. I mean if it is raining they should be shut... but other than that, who cares?

5. I can watch whatever I want on the TV and I don't have to share with anyone. 

6. I can drink as much Dr. Pepper as I want without anyone offering a running commentary on my eating habits.

7. I can wear whatever I want. I can wear a dress. I can wear overalls. I can wear the world's most oldest, worn out T-shirt. Nobody can tell me not to! 

8. I don't get that panicky feeling in my stomach when it is time for my mom to come home. Generally, for my entire life, I've automatically tried to detect my mom's mood when she comes home or when I get up in the morning. I would listen to the sound of her voice if she is talking to anyone, the sound of her footsteps, etc. If she's in a bad mood there is not much I can do... no matter what she is going to scan the room and find something to rip me a new one about (see numbers 1 through 7 for examples of things that might piss her off at any given moment) but at least I can prepare myself. I know to be quiet and try to be invisible. If she starts vacuuming I know I am up Shit Creek without a paddle. If my dad is home and she's arguing with him, it could go well for me (she's mad at him so is super nice to me) or poorly (she can group me in with my dad and I get the trickle down effect of whatever he's in trouble for.) But if she's in a good mood then I know I can go upstairs and talk to her and things are fine. 
So really when they're not here, I don't have to be on the alert all the time. And it is kind of a nice feeling! 

Okay, so for the Happiness Challenge... I am happy that I have proved to myself that I can be alone for long amounts of time without going crazy. At least if my dogs are with me. My dogs make all the difference. They really do. They are my saviors. And I am happy I have them. 

3 comments :

  1. I love this post! It's wonderful that you enjoy steering your own ship. A lot of people don't understand the different between "alone" and "lonely." (I know I'm often more lonely when I'm surrounded by people who don't get me.) I'm also happy that you are so able to connect with the dogs. There can be so much love there, and a lot of people miss it. You get it!

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    1. I do wish I could have friends to do some fun things with, but I am definitely starting to realize that I don't mind my "alone time!" And yes, dogs and other animals are so full of love. They are underestimated. Some people with depression and anxiety can actually geet a doctor's note allowing them to have pets in no-pets-allowed housing, because they can make such a positive difference!

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  2. How wonderful that you're surviving this time alone. I enjoy being alone for extended periods sometimes because it really helps out my introvertism. :-)

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