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Neurodiversity Awareness/Appreciation

Neurodiversity Awareness/Appreciation

Monday, May 20, 2013

Sadness And Baby Birds

I keep feeling sad lately for no particular reason. Its a weird sadness that sneaks up behind me when I am least suspecting... not overwhelming sadness but just sort of emptiness, like a cold, damp, cave. I really don't know why. Work keeps me distracted, and the little boy I work with keeps me laughing... at least when he's not driving me crazy! Being outside in the sun makes me feel a little better too, so I try to spend a lot of time out there, but you run out of things to do in your backyard. When I come back inside, I feel like the darkness is closing in on me! 

Maybe just bored and lonely, I guess. And antsy. When I get depressed, sometimes all I want to do is sleep, but other times it is hard for me to sit still! The trouble standing still is probably kind of a sensory thing... I start feeling like I'm out of my skin, and I have to jump up and down a few times so I can feel the gravity pushing me back together. 

There are baby birds living in the birdhouse in my backyard. Usually when I peer into the door, I can see five little beaks wide open, squawking at me. But today when I looked in, the five little beaks were closed and still. I was afraid they were dead! I was telling them, "Wake up, little birds, wake up!" They didn't move. But after I walked away, I heard them tweeting, and I saw their mom come and feed them. So I guess they were just playing possum! 

I went out and took a picture of them earlier today, and they were squawking again. I hope I didn't blind them with the flash on my phone! (They didn't seem disturbed. I'm pretty sure their eyes are closed anyways.)

I am still sad, but baby birds make me feel just a little better! 

























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